Will
by Cabin3Demigod
Summary: 'He could never have her...'  Follow up to 'a slap and smooch Will do the trick'. Remus' side of the story.


**A/N**

**Song: Something I can Never Have: Nine Inch Nails. Please Review!**

Who is he?

Certainly not the Remus Lupin he was five years ago. No. That Remus was young, his friend was alive, and, most importantly, that Remus hadn't been madly in love with a girl totally out of his league. A girl he'd hurt-badly.

_I still recall the taste of your tears _  
><em>Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears <em>  
><em>My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore <em>  
><em>Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep <em>  
><em>Anymore <em>

Tonks. He didn't deserve her. If only she understood...

For one, she was young and spiffy, whereas Remus was old and boring. Tonks had often ignored this, saying that he was as young as he felt, and even if he was old, it didn't show "upstairs". Secondly, Remus was poor. He had no money and could provide no decent future for her. Heck, he probably wouldn't even be able to afford to take her on a first date. Yet Tonks didn't give a niffler's hide about that, either.

_You make this all go away _  
><em>You make this all go away <em>  
><em>I'm down to just one thing <em>  
><em>And i'm starting to scare myself <em>_  
><em>

Lastly, and most importantly, he was dangerous. Not only as a human, but as a werewolf. He was capable of inflicting harm either way. And even though this reason should have been taken into account much, much more, Tonks still said no, that she still wanted him. She'd even pulled out the "I'm an Auror" speech. He hated that speech, though most times he deserved it and needed to hear it...

_You make this all go away _  
><em>You make this all go way <em>  
><em>I just want something <em>  
><em>I just want something I can never have <em>

And then it hit him. Merlin, it hit him hard. Tonks put up with him _because_ she was young, spiffy,_ determined_. She wasn't going to give up on him anytime soon, and he felt his resolve growing weaker with or without her there. He needed her. So why did he want so badly to keep her from the one thing that made her happy?

_You always were the one to show me how _  
><em>Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now <em>  
><em>This thing is slowly taking me apart <em>  
><em>Gray would be the colour if I had a heart <em>  
><em>Come on, tell me <em>

_You'll make her an outlaw_, he thought as he summoned his cloak. _You'll make her hate you, you_-.

But Remus ignored the human voice in his head, focusing on the werewolf desire that spoke in the pit of his stomach, which was so clear only because the full moon was two nights away.

_You make this all go away _  
><em>You make this all go away <em>  
><em>I'm down to just one thing <em>  
><em>And I'm starting to scare myself <em>  
><em>You make this all go away <em>  
><em>You make this all go away <em>  
><em>I just want something <em>  
><em>I just want something I can never have <em>

Taking up all his courage, Remus closed his eyes and Apparated. To her flat.

He gathered his thoughts, if he had any, and knocked on the door. He waited for a few seconds, leaning on the door nonchalantly. She wouldn't be happy to see him unless she heard what he had to say.

_In this place it seems like such a shame _  
><em>Though it all looks different now <em>  
><em>I know it's still the same <em>  
><em>Everywhere I look you're all I see <em>  
><em>Just a fading f*****g reminder of who I used to be <em>  
><em>Come on, tell me! <em>

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Tonks opened the door. Her response was all but expected. She didn't glare or stare at him as she did before. No, she slapped him-and it hurt. He almost confronted her, but ended up muttering into her lips, as she kissed him longingly. Remus directed them into the house, falling onto the couch after closing the door. He kissed her back with the same desire.

_You make this all go away _  
><em>You make this all go away <em>  
><em>I'm down to just one thing <em>  
><em>And i'm starting to scare myself <em>  
><em>You make this all go away <em>

For now, she is something he doesn't deserve, true. But she is also something he_ can_-and will-have.

_You make it all go way _  
><em>I just want something <em>  
><em>I just want something I can never have <em>  
><em>I just want something I can never have<em>


End file.
